thank you

by j
(washington state)

My situation is different than yours, as I have an 8 year old daughter and have known since she was born that I do not ever want any more children. My abnormal pap was in early January. Colpo, biopsy, leep, and now I await the result of the leep, which they have not called to tell me over the phone so I assume it's not good. My colpo biopsy showed cinII, but there was a note on my pap results, "possible invasive carcinoma." I literally fell when I read that, my knees buckled. The doc said not to worry about it, and that only the biopsy really mattered, and while I trust him, I'm just so scared. I started thinking of my daughter growing up without mommy, and I basically haven't been able to focus on anything since. If I sleep wrong and my back hurts, I think I'm in stage 4 and it's spread to my spine. If I get a headache, it's in my brain and I'm dying. I know I'm being ridiculous but I cant help it. I'm 30 years old and the worst health problem I've ever had is the occasional flu or cold. I honestly don't know how I've made it through my working single mom life under this kind of stress, but I'm amazed I've been able to handle it like I have, especially since I'm not sharing this info with most of the people in my life. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. The stories of women on this site not only surviving but going on to have babies after going through this is really helping me to realize that, even if I do have cancer, chances are it's early stages and chances are I will be just fine. God bless you all, and your beautiful children as well.

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