Whether you experience loss of your dreams because of a hysterectomy or a miscarriage, it is devastating.

That is what I experienced when I was told I had cervical cancer and after my surgeries. I was alive and physically well, but I didn't know if my hopes to have children would come true.

It is so hard to explain to someone who isn't in the same situation. They say things like, "Time will heal the wounds."

I disagree.

There came a time when I didn't cry every day anymore, true, but I still had a hole where my dreams had been.

What time does do is take away the immediate grief. Then I had to find a way to keep on going.

I found that other things began to fill in the void. Hobbies, work, church, charity work...and ultimately, yes, I did have a baby, and he completely fills me. But he didn't come along until nearly 5 years after I was diagnosed.

For some women, though, a hysterectomy or a miscarriage prolongs the pain. All I can say to them is my heart breaks for them. I wish I could say that things will get better, but that's just flat-out offensive and condescending.

They have a right to grieve.

I do recommend talking to a counselor who will not say the wrong things and who will let you cry and who, hopefully, will help you heal.

I can also recommend some books that helped me.

And, personally, prayer helped me. The lives we live are full of questions we can't answer, so giving in and admitting that I was lost and broken helped me to be whole again.

Go to Having babies after cervical cancer from Loss
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